M’s first adventure

It was a busy and emotional week last week as our little bun started her first big adventure… daycare. And I… well I had to return to work. I wanted to write several times but would start crying every time I tried. Last Monday was her first day at daycare. I decided to start her with a half day since I didn’t have to start work until that Wednesday. So I headed into the center, apprehensive and sad. The infant room is at the end of the hall and that felt like I was walking the green mile! I got to the classroom and it seemed like a bit of mayhem. There seemed to be more kids than should be allowed for only one provider, which there was as Sue, the teacher explained, on Monday mornings the toddler’s are in there until 7 a.m. (it was after 7). Well, as a new mom, dropping off her baby girl at daycare for the first time, this did not help ease my nerves. But I took my little M out of her carseat and hugged her tight as she stuck her little butt out, raised her arms up and craned her neck in her usual M stretch. “Mama will be here in a bit to get you. Be a good girl” I kissed her little chipmunk cheek and gently handed her to Sue. I walked out quickly so that I didn’t cry in the center. When I reached my car, the tears came as if a flood gate had opened. I hated it. She’s my baby, I should be with her every moment I can until she starts school! Damn bills. Damn car payment. But I had to pull out of the parking lot, it’s not like I could sit there until noon counting the minutes. I would go crazier than I already was. So, from there, I took a practice drive to work, trying unsuccessfully not to cry. I made it to work and continued on to mom’s house so that I wouldn’t just go home and cry. At mom’s, little E was there and when I walked in the door he came running around the corner, looked up at me inquiringly and said “baby?”. It was almost enough to start the tears again. He had gotten used to seeing his little cousin when he saw me as they had spent the last couple of mom’s off days together. So I visited with mom and E for a bit before I had to run a grocery errand and then home to pump before I picked up my little bun. I was counting the minutes. When I got to the center to pick her up, there she was, as innocent and adorable as she could be, laying in Sue’s arms. She looked so calm with her little bright eyes looking up from her green pjs. My smile was endless as I took her in my arms and laid several kisses on her cute cheeks. Well, it’s been a week of her at daycare and it seems we’ve been blessed with a very good baby. She gets good reports from Sue and the afternoon provider Kim. They told Marc that she’s very bright as she seems to be practiced at several milestones that many babies have not yet reached at her age. Great eye contact, holds her head up well and coos to conversation. That sure made me feel good.

But here I am at work and I miss my little ladybug every minute. I definitely have to figure something else out. I just don’t want to miss out on so much! Even if I’m working part time, it’s still better than being apart so many hours during the day. She’s changing so fast. Everyday she’s exploring more, whether it’s a new face she makes, a new sound she can tries with her voice or discovering that she can suck on her hand (which daddy tries to prevent). She’s such a beautiful and amazing baby girl who will have many adventures to come and I want to share as many as I can with her and her daddy (and her pup).

So Fast

It really doesn't feel like it's been 7 weeks since my baby girl made her debut into the world. It has gone by so fast. Next Wednesday will be my first day back at work. Bleck... I'm definitely not looking forward to it as my little M will be in daycare. The hardest part of that for me is that she's growing so fast! It's hard to think that the daycare providers will see her more during the day and during the week than we will. To see her every moment, to work with her on her milestones, that's what makes it so hard. This morning I was so grateful to witness one of her firsts. I had her on her tummy for tummy time and she rolled over to her back for the first time! It was so wonderful! I know that I'll still get to see these things but they're most likely going to happen at daycare first. Not to say that I'm not grateful that I have a job in this economy that allows us to do the things we want to do but it's hard sometimes to keep a smile when the job is so darn boring. So, I have decided that means I'll just have to work harder at finding a position that will allow me to both work and spend quality time during the day with our little M bug. I just want to accomplish this before too many of her firsts have been accomplished.

But with every day, I cherish the time I have with our little one, just as I do with the rest of my family. I will hug her and hold her every chance I get. And I will look forward to the end of the work day even more as I will get to hold her in my arms.

That's it for today. Sincerely.... looking for my next job adventure.