Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Dream baby dream

Well, it's getting closer to the week that I will have to return to work and leave my Mila at daycare. I'm not excited about it, but everything happens for a reason, so until I find the job in the career I'm meant to have I will try to make the best of the situation.

For now, mom and I took Mila to work to visit my coworkers before I return. While there, I picked up a gift left by the court reporter that our firm uses for most jobs. She had left it before Mila was born but after I left on maternity leave so this was the first chance I had to pick it up. The gift was a cute blanket, the soft kind, with monkey's, hippos' and giraffe's on it and a book titled "When I was a Girl I Dreamed"by Margaret Baker & Justin Matott and illustrated by Mark Ludy, who I found out, is from Colorado here. It's such a great story of an old lady telling of all the different adventures she dreamed of when she was a girl like being a teacher, a dancer, a painter, even an archaeologist! The book ends with "Reach higher than the stars my dears, and your dreams... will come true." Such a beautiful story with a wonderful message. A message I definitely want to pass on to Mila. The extra cool thing is she had it inscribed by Mark Ludy. The inscription read "To Baby Lancaster Dream Big Always" I thought this was a beautiful inscription and it made me cry. Because, after all, isn't that what every parent wants for their children? To Dream Big! I can't wait until Mila asks me to read this to her! But I will read it to her before then too, because it is beautifully written as well.

As for my followers out there, no matter your age, you're never too old to reach for the stars to attain your dreams. Keep dreaming :) I know I will and I will find that job in the career I dream of, sooner, rather than later. So can you!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

4 weeks old!

It seems to have flown by! But then again, not. ;) Our baby girl is already 4 weeks old. Within that four weeks, it's already been an adventure for both us as new parents and baby Mila. As hubby puts it, it's been a roller coaster of emotions. At each moment, you're holding this little life in your hands and you have all of these emotions running through you and inside you're just trembling with, fear, frustration, irritation, but at the same time, you're looking at her as she's crying and you feel such all encompassing love and you want nothing but to find out what's wrong and make her feel better. And once you finally do, you're both emotionally and physically exhausted! :) I concur on that description.

Feeding has been a bit of an up and down too. At the hospital I had only just started to learn to breast feed when she had to stay on the bili bed table and we had to give her supplements. Then her being "tongue tied" she learned to latch incorrectly so when we had her little frenelum snipped she continued with that latch. I like to call her pirana lips. She purses her lips so tight around the nipple. I've slowly eased her into a more comfortable latch but she doesn't fully flair her lips like she's supposed to. Which led to my bout with mastitis. Last Friday when I woke up for her middle of the night feeding, I had a temperature of 102.2! Well, that has since resolved but I hope it doesn't re-occur. And finally, the fact that she doesn't wake herself up for feedings. Yes, the doctors all say that babies need to eat every 2-3 hours and so I've been setting my feeding alarm for every 3 hours, getting up and feeding her. Lately however, she's been a little lazy feeder and will fall asleep after the first side and not take the other side. So as I said, it's been an up and down feeding her. I think we may be turning a corner though. She seems to be starting to wake herself up. Luckily, it's not a crying wake up but a figety lip smacking with her eyes closed. But at least we're getting somewhere!

... and for Mila, everyday brings new challenges, especially during tummy time! Trying to turn over, which she's already pretty close too! Or keeping her head up a little longer. Now she's beginning to track objects with her eyes and has finally noticed her little car seat dangly dudes as I call them. And today we went for our first walk with Mila in the stroller and Drake on the leash with just me! Drake did such a good job healing near the stroller, he only got run over once :)

So, our adventure continues with Mila... Month Two! I'll try hard to update as often as I can!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Mila's arrival

Well, it's been 2 weeks since our little angel graced us with her presence. It sure seems to have flown by already. Our little Mila was born on 12/22/11. Of course, she didn't make it easy for us and I had to be induced. It was tough to give in to the induction but I figured she'd marinated a week longer than she should so that's the route we went. Marc, mom and Sara were to be present during birthing and it's a good thing Sara brought her iPad as the CD player in the room didn't work. So she brought up Pandora and she had me listening to some really good meditation music. Mom brought brownies dad had made for the nurses and they were so excited to have sweets :).

As labor progressed, the nurse would increase the pitocin so that my contractions would increase. I tried my darndest to use my hypnobirthing techniques and they worked really well for most of the labor induction, however, because the pitocin made my contractions so regular and of the same strength and intensity as my labor progressed, I was getting so worn down it was hard to concentrate. I finally gave in and got the epidural. It wasn't my happiest moment as I wanted to experience my first child's birth in all it's "glory". But Marc, mom and sister were there with me the whole time and they said I handled it like a champ! Marc was amazing. He pushed me because he knew natural birth was something I really wanted in my heart but he also let me know it was ok to do what I thought would be best. Plus, I didn't know that I would have the energy for pushing when the time came if the contractions kept going at the power level they were going! At the time I got the epidural I was 4-5 cm dialated. After the epidural it all went pretty quick. The next time my midwife came to check me she said I was at 9 cm and could start getting ready to push in a few minutes! I was excited and anxious. So was Marc, I could see it in his eyes. Mom and Marc each held a leg and away we went. I had a mirror to help me know how to push since I couldn't feel much with the epidural. It was intense seeing my little girls hair as she got closer to arriving. We would see this mass of dark hair when I pushed and when I stopped it would recede back a bit. When all was said and done, I really only pushed for 1/2 hour and out came our little Mila! Bright eyed and blinking. My midwife plopped her on my chest and I almost wasn't ready for her! I was still in awe that she was finally here!

Everyone was so excited and happy to see her, and to finally know her name :). She laid on my chest for at least 1/2 hour and Marc just stared at her and kissed her and talked to her. It was amazing.

After her birth, there were a few things our little girl has had to deal with. She was jaundice as her and I have different blood types causing her little liver to work overtime and with the aid of a bili lights bed that she had to be on. We were able to go home the evening of Christmas Eve for our first night at home together.

Since then, we've had so many appointments for her to check her bilirubin levels, weight, lactation consultation, it's been a busy two weeks. I wouldn't have been able to do it without the unending support of Marc and the love and support of my mom and my sister who have taken us to many of the appointments or just been there for me.

Right now, Mila is on track for her weight gain and she has her two week appointment tomorrow. My main concern right now is breastfeeding. It's been a bit of challenge for both her and I as she learned latching differently due to a short frenelum. The frenelum was snipped last Friday but we still have some learning time to account for and some toughening of my nipples.

I will never forget all of the love I have felt from my family the day of her birth and continuing. Our life has been changed forever and for the better with the addition of our little girl. I can't wait to see the adventures she takes us on.

As for our little Drake, he's getting used to having a little sister that keeps him up at night but he's doing great.